Choosing the Right Therapist for You

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We all have different paths to therapy, but most end up at the same question: who should I see? This might feel overwhelming to choose. How do you find out? Who should you ask? If you live in a big city, chances are, you have a lot of names to choose between—it’s easy to take one look at an online list and decide to deal with it later. It’s also easy to leave that later till even later.  

After all, how are you supposed to decide who to share your private thoughts and feelings with based on a bunch of names? For someone unfamiliar with therapy, this can feel really confusing. EMDR, CBT, IPT: these are a few among a long list of approaches different professionals use in their practice. Which one will suit your needs? What are your needs?

If this feels overwhelming, that’s okay—it’s a lot of information and it can be a scary decision. Instead of trying to decide all at once, it can help to break everything up.

⇒ What is Psychotherapy?

Starting at the basics, it’s important to understand what therapy is and is not—a therapist, for example, is not able to prescribe medication. For that, you need to see a psychiatrist.

In therapy, talk is the foundation of treatment. This might not be all you do—different therapists use different tools and have different training. Some use art. Others specialize in children and incorporate play into their sessions. Some therapists are certified in specific techniques to deal with trauma.

The aim is always the same, though—to help clients work through their past and become more resilient in the present. Therapy is a way of releasing emotions and trauma, rather than medicating disorders.

If this sounds broad, that’s because it is. There’s a therapist for everyone—some specialize in teenagers, some in couples. Some focus on careers and others on sexuality. Therapists, like their clients, also have different ethnicities and religions, and these can be great points to start your search from.

You might not know what specific type of treatment you need. Finding a therapist, however, who understands and relates to your background can make a huge difference. When they understand where you’ve come from, they can be better at helping you to get where you want.

⇒ Consultations

Before starting treatment, many therapists offer a free consultation. This is a chance to get to know each other, to ask questions, or for them to refer you to a different therapist who’s a better fit. This is usually much shorter than a normal session and often happens over the phone.

During consultation, therapists will ask you questions about your background, but this is also your chance to do the same. It’s a two-way conversation that should allow you to get a sense of whether they will suit you.

If you’re unsure what you want to know, here’s a list of example questions:

  • What is your educational background and work experience?
  • Are you able to meet my cultural needs (sexuality, religion, gender, race, etc.)?
  • How will I know therapy is working?
  • How often will we meet?
  • What is expected of me?
  • What happens if I need to cancel a session?
  • How much do you charge and do you take insurance?

These are a great foundation, but there’s room for others. Consultations are time-limited, so it can help to make a list of what you’d like to know beforehand. If it feels important to you, then it’s important. Therapists want you to feel informed and comfortable before you start sessions.

⇒ The “Best” Therapist

Something to remember is that a therapeutic relationship needs to be just that: a relationship. For this to function healthily, both members need to feel comfortable—a wall of degrees doesn’t always mean that they’re the best therapist for you. In fact, there’s no such thing as the “best” therapist. What works for each of us is different, and just because someone loves their therapist doesn’t mean you will too. Recommendations are helpful, but it’s also good to remember your own needs. If a therapist doesn’t feel right for you, it’s okay to listen to that feeling, whether that’s after a consultation or a session.

It’s also important to remember that you’re not stuck with anyone just because they’re where you started—maybe they are a first step to learning what you want get out of therapy, instead. Of course, it might feel hard to tell someone you want to end sessions, but you should never feel obligated to continue if you’re unhappy. Most therapists chose their job because they want to help people, and the last thing they want is a client who don’t feel like it’s a good match.

Choosing a therapist can be scary, but when you break it down, it can be a much more manageable process.

Healing Within Online Counseling for Teens & Adults

If you are interested in finding a therapist, consider contacting Healing Within, an online platform that provides counseling and emotional support. Through the use of private videoconferencing software or the telephone, I can provide therapy for a variety of challenges you may be experiencing. Reach out today and begin the journey to a more peaceful state of mind.

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CYNTHIA FONG, M.S.W., LCSW, PPSC

CYNTHIA FONG, M.S.W., LCSW, PPSC

Cynthia is the Founder of Healing Within, A Licensed Clinical Social Worker Corporation. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker providing online counseling/therapy services for adults or teens (13 and older) who reside anywhere within the state of California.

Cynthia also offers consultation services for nonprofit organizations in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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